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DESCRIPTION:

  • To describe is to offer specific details, allowing the reader to visualize people, places or objects. There are two main types of description: objective and subjective.
  • OBJECTIVE description offers facts and details, but without a judgment or emotional reaction. An example would be a police report on a missing car.
  • SUBJECTIVE description carefully selects details to make a specific point regarding the person, place or object. We will focus on subjective descriptions with the purpose of leading the audience to a specific conclusion or state of mind.

    SHOW—Don’t Tell 

  • The best descriptions create vivid images in the readers’ minds, allowing them to understand the flavor of a moment, the personality of a man, or the emotional vibe of a place.
    • As you write, you don’t want to be like a tour guide, pointing out all of the obvious attractions.
    • Instead, aim to be a virtual self for the readers, allowing them to experience a person, place, or thing as you have. In other words, show, don’t tell.
  • How does one accomplish such a task?
    • Below are some strategies which writers use to create the original form of virtual reality—written description.

    (1) Use CONCRETE, SPECIFIC DETAILS

  • Use precise, language-specific nouns and adjectives.
  • Notice how your ability to visualize the items described below becomes easier as the description becomes more specific.
AUTOMOBILE --> compact car --> new green VW --> shining, forest-green VW Jetta
TREE --> evergreen --> young pine    
  • Moreover, choose vivid verbs that fit your specific situation.
  • She talked » She droned on » She whispered » She nasalized

  • Consider the following paragraph:
  • VERSION #1:

    The girl drove up in her car, and stopped in front of the store. She got out, took out a cigarette, and smoked. A man left the store and approached her. She said, “Where have you been?” to which he replied, “Well, I haven’t been bowling.” He handed to her a bag filled with groceries and opened the car door. “Of course,” she answered, and got in the car as well.

  • BORING! But, more than that, it is so vague, so lacking in concrete, specific details, that it is impossible for a reader to accurately interpret the scene without guessing. 
  • Now look at two revisions of the same :

    VERSION #2: 

    Muffy drove up in her silver BMW, and parked carefully in front of Wegman’s. She exited the car, straightening her plaid skirt. She searched for a Virginia Slim in her purse and then sneaked a quick puff. Brad left the store and strutted up to her. She cooed, “Where have you been?” and he teased, “Well, I haven’t been bowling.” He gently handed to her a bag filled with steaks, wild rice, and French bread, and opened the passenger-side door for her. “Of course,” she giggled, and flitted into the car.

    VERSION #3: 

    Nanette drove up in her 1978 Monte Carlo, a rust-covered bucket once belonging to her last boyfriend, and squealed to a stop in front of the Wa-Wa. She slowly drew herself out of the car, and peeled a Camel out of her front pocket. She sucked on it belligerently. Rocko wandered out of the store and sauntered up to her. She growled, “Where have you been?” to which he spat back, “Well, I haven’t been bowling.” He tossed a bag filled with Cheetos, Jolt Cola, and onion dip at her, and threw open the driver-side door. “Of course,” she mumbled, and coiled up on the passenger side.

  • A dictionary or thesaurus can be of great use in finding vivid, precise words. Keep in mind that Microsoft Word has a thesaurus function built in!
  • Discover the difference specific language can make at:
  • Commnet: Concrete, Specific Language
    http://cctc2.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/abstract.stm
  • Explore word alternatives at the following links:
  • thesaurus.com 
    http://www.thesaurus.com/
    Commnet: Building a Better Vocabulary
    http://cctc2.commnet.edu/grammar/vocabulary.htm
  • See Keys for Writers, Sections 33b, 33c and 33d, pages 226-230.
  • (2) Use the FIVE SENSES

  • The most vivid descriptions appeal to the five senses, providing as realistic and developed a picture as possible.
  • Sensual description allows readers to experience the details of the description, to be drawn in and become participants.
  • As you write, try to incorporate sounds, smells, tastes, and textures as well as sights.
  • (3) Use FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE 

  • Figurative language can add interest to your descriptions, especially when they are original.
  • We will focus on three types of figurative language:
    • simile
    • metaphor
    • personification
  • A simile is a comparison between two unlike things using a qualifier such as like or as. 
  • For example: Sara looked as proud as a cat with a freshly caught mouse.

  • In a metaphor, two unlike things are equated in order to make a comparison.
  • For example: My car sat in the driveway, a purring kitten waiting for me to come and play.

  • Personification gives a non-human object human qualities or abilities. 
  • For example: The sun smiled down on our picnic.

  • Avoid trite phrases when using figurative language.
    • that is, overly used, overly familiar phrases
    • Some examples of trite phrases are
      • white as snow; cold as ice; happy as a clam.

(4) Methods of ORGANIZATION in a Descriptive Essay

  1.  spatially
    1. order in which you encounter objects
    2. top to bottom or bottom to top
    3. inside-out or outside-in
    4. far to near
  2. emphatically
    • order of importance or interest
  3. use of individual senses
    • difficult to do smoothly!

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