DESCRIPTION:
- To describe is to offer
specific details, allowing the reader to visualize people, places or
objects. There are two main types of description: objective and
subjective.
- OBJECTIVE description
offers facts and details, but without a judgment or emotional
reaction. An example would be a police report on a missing car.
- SUBJECTIVE description
carefully selects details to make a specific point regarding the
person, place or object. We will focus on subjective descriptions
with the purpose of leading the audience to a specific conclusion
or state of mind.
- The best descriptions create
vivid images in the readers’ minds, allowing them to understand the
flavor of a moment, the personality of a man, or the emotional vibe
of a place.
- As you write, you don’t want to be like a tour guide,
pointing out all of the obvious attractions.
- Instead, aim to be a
virtual self for the readers, allowing them to experience a person,
place, or thing as you have. In other words, show, don’t tell.
- How does one accomplish such
a task?
- Below are some strategies which writers use to create the
original form of virtual reality—written description.
(1) Use
CONCRETE, SPECIFIC DETAILS
Use
precise, language-specific nouns and
adjectives.
Notice how your ability to
visualize the items described below becomes easier as the
description becomes more specific.
AUTOMOBILE |
--> |
compact car |
--> |
new green VW |
--> |
shining,
forest-green VW Jetta |
TREE |
--> |
evergreen |
--> |
young pine |
|
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- Moreover, choose vivid verbs
that fit your specific situation.
She talked » She
droned on » She whispered » She nasalized
- Consider the following
paragraph:
VERSION #1:
The girl drove up in her
car, and stopped in front of the store. She got out, took out a
cigarette, and smoked. A man left the store and approached her.
She said, “Where have you been?” to which he replied, “Well, I
haven’t been bowling.” He handed to her a bag filled with
groceries and opened the car door. “Of course,” she answered,
and got in the car as well.
- BORING! But, more than
that, it is so vague, so lacking in concrete, specific details,
that it is impossible for a reader to accurately interpret the
scene without guessing.
- Now look at two
revisions of the same :
VERSION #2:
Muffy drove up in her
silver BMW, and parked carefully in front of Wegman’s. She
exited the car, straightening her plaid skirt. She searched for
a Virginia Slim in her purse and then sneaked a quick puff. Brad
left the store and strutted up to her. She cooed, “Where have
you been?” and he teased, “Well, I haven’t been bowling.” He
gently handed to her a bag filled with steaks, wild rice, and
French bread, and opened the passenger-side door for her. “Of
course,” she giggled, and flitted into the car.
VERSION #3:
Nanette drove up in her
1978 Monte Carlo, a rust-covered bucket once belonging to her
last boyfriend, and squealed to a stop in front of the Wa-Wa.
She slowly drew herself out of the car, and peeled a Camel out
of her front pocket. She sucked on it belligerently. Rocko
wandered out of the store and sauntered up to her. She growled,
“Where have you been?” to which he spat back, “Well, I haven’t
been bowling.” He tossed a bag filled with Cheetos, Jolt Cola,
and onion dip at her, and threw open the driver-side door. “Of
course,” she mumbled, and coiled up on the passenger side.
- A dictionary or thesaurus
can be of great use in finding vivid, precise words. Keep in mind
that Microsoft Word has a thesaurus function built in!
- Discover the difference
specific language can make at:
- Commnet: Concrete, Specific Language
-
http://cctc2.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/abstract.stm
- Explore word alternatives at
the following links:
- thesaurus.com
-
http://www.thesaurus.com/
- Commnet: Building a Better Vocabulary
-
http://cctc2.commnet.edu/grammar/vocabulary.htm
- See Keys for Writers,
Sections 33b, 33c and 33d, pages 226-230.
(2) Use the FIVE
SENSES
- The most vivid descriptions
appeal to the five senses, providing as realistic and developed a
picture as possible.
- Sensual description allows
readers to experience the details of the description, to be drawn in
and become participants.
- As you write, try to
incorporate sounds,
smells, tastes, and
textures as well as
sights.
(3)
Use FIGURATIVE
LANGUAGE
- Figurative language can add
interest to your descriptions, especially when they are original.
- We will focus on three types
of figurative language:
-
simile
-
metaphor
-
personification
- A simile is a comparison
between two unlike things using a qualifier such as like or as.
For example: Sara looked
as proud as a cat with a freshly caught mouse.
- In a metaphor, two unlike
things are equated in order to make a comparison.
For example: My car sat
in the driveway, a purring kitten waiting for me to come and
play.
- Personification gives a
non-human object human qualities or abilities.
For example: The sun
smiled down on our picnic.
- Avoid trite phrases
when using figurative language.
- that is, overly
used, overly familiar phrases
- Some examples of trite phrases
are
- white as snow; cold as ice; happy as
a clam.
(4) Methods of
ORGANIZATION in a
Descriptive Essay
- spatially
- order in which you encounter objects
- top to bottom or bottom to top
- inside-out or outside-in
- far to near
- emphatically
- order of importance or interest
- use of individual senses
- difficult to do smoothly!
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